This is a post I´ve been thinking to write for quite a while now, but I didn´t feel like the time was right. Now that we are heading in to spring and summer soon, I feel like it´s a good time to write it.
For some of us the summer is already here, and for others it´s soon. As the weather gets warmer, we start wearing less clothes. It´s warm, so why not? This is the best season for some of us, but for other´s it´s the worst. People that aren´t comfortable with their bodies, won´t find it any easier during the summer, because of body pressure, beauty and how you "should" look. If the self-confidence is already low, summer days won´t make it any better. I´ve been thinking about writing this for a while because I´ve been struggling with this a lot of my teen age years, and I´m sure that I´m not the only one who does.
Summer - the season of bikini(at least for us that are girls). The time when a lot of us take picture of our bare legs and stomachs and put it on social media. The time when we wear as little clothing as possible. The time when everything is visible. The time when we compare ourselves to others. Many of us may think that we want to look like the person next to us on the beach, maybe it´s our friend or just a complete stranger. If you don´t have good self-confidence it´s hard to take off that dress, just because what´s going to cover you is just a bikini. It´s the time when your friends look perfect, and you want to look like them to. You on the other hand, you are just feeling terrible. It hurts, it really does. I know, I´ve been there. I am there.
A lot of us might think a lot about what we eat the last months, even the last weeks, before summer hits in. Some try to eat as little as possible so their body might get smaller. Some might try out all kinds of exercising and try everything so they can get the body they want for the summer. I have tried all of this myself over the last years and recently too. Whether or not you recognize yourself in this, you have probably had bad self-confidence at some point in your life. It is important to know, that you are not alone. Everyone will at some point feel the same.
I know I don´t have a perfect body. I´ve been struggling with bad self-confidence for so many years. If people tell my "your fat" or "your ugly" just as a joke, I answer as a joke that "yes, I am," and laugh about it, but deep down, I know it make me feel bad and it has an impact on me, even though the purpose of it wasn´t to make me feel fat or ugly. As some of you know I am an exchange student in the U.S. I told myself before I went here that I wasn´t going to gain too much weight. That´s easier said than done. After I came here, I have gained much more weight than I could possibly think I would. I no longer fit into my denim shorts that were lose when I came here. I no longer fit into my favorite summer dress. I wasn´t happy with my body before I came here, not 2 years ago either. Before I came here, I looked down on my body all the time and I tried a lot of things in hope of getting thinner. I told myself that I was fat. And my thighs? Oh, my goodness, they were the biggest in the world! After almost 8 months in the U.S, the Land of Bacon or whatever you wanna call it, I still don´t like my body too much. Still, I like it more than any time before. Because I have learned. I have learned to accept. I have learned to accept that this is my body. Everyone can´t have a "perfect" body. None of us are built the same way, so how can we have the same body? I have realized that I am good enough, I am more than good enough, no matter how I look. I have realized that the body I had before I came here was beautiful, and the body I have now is also beautiful. I´m still going to try to lose weight and get were I want to be, but while I´m doing that I have to do it on MY own principles, not anyone else's, and I have to love my body while doing it.
As I wrote above I have been struggling with self-confidence. I have been lucky to have people around me telling me how amazing and beautiful I am and who are proud of me. Everyone needs to hear this sometime. During the summer months there is a lot of body pressure. It is hard to avoid.
I don´t have a lot of advice on how to gain self-confidence, but I have some:
- Believe in yourself. The most important one. Think about how many that love you and how unique you are in your own way
- Give yourself compliments. You are beautiful in your own way whether you are tan or white, thin or thick, stretch marks or not. Stand in front of the mirror every day and give your self-compliments on something you like about yourself.
- Talk. Talk about how you feel, what make you feel bad or happy. You are not alone out there. Everyone have bad days some times.
- Identify your success. Discover the things you are good whether it is a sport, knitting or whatever and focus on your talent.
- Be positive. Being negative won´t help anyone. Think and speak positively about yourself about your future or something that makes you happy.
- Identify what is giving you bad self-confidence.
- Try to be comfortable in your own body. Don´t compare yourself to the Victoria Secret models or other people. You are beautiful inside and out.
Be understanding of the people who aren´t as confident in themselves. Give compliments and help the person understand how beautiful he or she is. We have to believe in ourself and others.
I hope you all get a wonderful summer and just remember YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
- Sigrid
